Welcome to Cozy Poetry Corner by Debra Winter (Debbie)

“Bonzi Fartface: Professor of Medicine”

You’ll need to forgive me if I don’t grin,

Tomorrow, I’m supposed to be inventing medicine.

Why, am I complaining? I need a peaceful sleep.

Because of my neighbor next door, the creep.

He has his television very loud, windows wide open.

He grunts and groans loudly, while he’s in the bathroom poopin’.

He has no common sense—close the window so the neighbors don’t hear.

To get some sleep, I’ll have a strong beer.

Nope, beer didn’t help, now; what do I hear?

Blazing radio, while he’s weed whacking, oh dear.

How can I sleep with all this noise? I need to sleep.

It’s not quiet, I don’t want to hear a peep!

Forty-eight hours, this strong coffee is weak,

My teaching class today looks very bleak.

I think I will fall asleep, standing up teaching class,

Maybe I’ll fall to the ground flat on my face, not my ass.

So, what do I do? My eyes are bloodshot, my beard is long,

I can call this my sleepy song!

Professor Bonzi Fartface.

“The sleepy disgrace.”

Just one day of sleep, that’s all I need.

Being professor, maybe I can make wake-up weed,

Or a stay enabling awake pill!

Oh, yes! I think I will!

I have friends at the lab who will help me,

My eyes are so very tired they can’t see.

Hoping we can think fast and make the wake-up pill work.

Before this neighbor drives me insanely berserk!

Finally, the pill is a success, I’m wide eyed and bushy tailed!

I’m praying it’s not a narcotic, and I can’t be jailed.

I need to look on the bright side of all this…

Play it by ear—hit or miss.

Getting home after three whole days of no sleep,

My neighbor is quiet; I don’t hear a peep.

My bed looks great; my pillow is ready.

Now where’s my favorite teddy?

I’m all toasty warm in my bed,

Quiet songs in my head.

Bonzi Fartface will be good, as new.

Any noise from my neighbor, I’ll sue!