Welcome to Cozy Poetry Corner by Debra A Winter (Richter)

Grandma Hubbard and the All the Cats!

We’ve all heard the nursery rhyme “Old Mother Hubbard Lived in a Shoe,” right? Well, this is a new Mother Hubbard who found herself in a cat fight!

 It all started back, about 2010, I think. If I remember, it’s when Grandma married her late husband, Ben. Grandpa Ben was a cat lover of cats, of any kind; Yellow, striped, solid, white, whatever he’d find. If it meowed, he loved it.

Grandma back then loved her quiet, little house. She had a cute gray pet of her own. It was a tiny gray, short-haired field mouse. She loved that little mouse. That was one thing about my grandma, Grandpa didn’t know.

Till one day, when Grandma and Grandpa took a walk in the park. Grandma said it was peaceful until they heard a dog bark. The conversation started between the two. How each loved a pet, a conversation they had was certainly new. Grandma told Ben about her cute little mouse. That she gave the little critter the run of the house. While explaining every morning they eat breakfast together, and that she found her pet mouse outside hiding in rainy weather.

When Grandma was through telling Grandpa her part about her special pet. Grandpa piped in with his story of his special cat he caught with a fishing net. The stories he told Grandma weren’t always true; He lied to her, not telling all. As he loved my grandma, saying she was a cute little haul.

Grandpa’s cat storytelling went on and on. He was in his glory. On how he found his favorite cat, by netting her, calling her Misty Sori. Misty Sori was a huge gray Maine Coon cat. Grandma learned to love Misty Sori, even know she was fat. Grandpa bragged endlessly about Misty Sori. Some stories were about bringing home mice, all bloody. He would go on and on, saying she was a great catcher and mouser. And if she would’ve been a male, her name would honestly be Doogie Howser.

Grandma worried some about the two being in the same house. A Maine Coon cat and her tiny mouse, would they fight? A tiny mouse versus a BIG cat, both being in the same house!

As days went by, my Grandparents were still dating, meeting here and there, they became quite serious about their relationship. Grandpa then asked Grandma a surprising question.

“Dear sweet Grandma,” he said, “I have a question I would like to ask you. It pertains to our loving relationship — no cats, just us two.”

Grandma looked at Grandpa with questions rolling her blue eyes; thinking it’s coming—a marriage proposal surprise. See Grandma, being a wee bit older than grandpa heard this stuff before.

Of course, she responded to him; “What question, Ben?”

Grandpa, all red faced says, “Grandma… will you marry me with my cat?”

And that’s how this love story ended in a marriage with a Maine Coon cat that was fat!

After my grandparents were married, Grandpa had another surprise. He took Grandma for a ride — told her to close her eyes. When they arrived at the house Grandpa lived in, he told Grandma to open her eyes. They were going inside this building’s side door. Grandpa then unlocked the lock; Grandma heard a strange noise.

As the door opened out came a few cats; they walked inside; Grandma was stunned by all the toys. Not just any toys, “cat toys,” lots of them and mega cats!

Grandma was just about to say, no way, I’m dreaming, this! She nearly passed out asking, “All these aren’t yours, I hope not.”

Grandma was hotter than a fire in a potbelly stove! Yelling, “If so, you can just rot!”

Grandpa proudly said, “Yes, these are all mine. I love every single one.”

All Grandma said was, “Oh what fun, I need a gun!”

There was a feud between Grandma and Grandpa about the cats. Grandpa tried to calm down and told Grandma, at least we won’t have rats! This went on for two years of arguing, then Grandpa got sick… and passed away.

Grandma didn’t mourn as a normal person would, but she did cry. She, cried but, not for Grandpa, for herself. Saying over and over; “What am I going to do… what am I… going to do?”

When I asked her why she was saying that, she’d say, “The cats — who’s going to clean their poo?”