Welcome to Cozy Poetry Corner by Debra A Winter (Richter)

“If Money Could Talk”

Hello, I’m a five-dollar bill,

It certainly isn’t a heavenly thrill.

I’m made of special paper and non-smearing ink,

And every day I’m put into zillions of pockets that stink!

There are people out there who just don’t give a care,

They take me out to eat and get ketchup on my beautiful hair!

All that greasy slobbering is dreadful – certainly not a treat!

Even dropping me in a puddle; then stepping on me with their feet.

I’ve gone for many rides in cars, buses, planes, and trains;

All that riding around gives me many aches and pains.

Especially when I go from one extreme to another.

Sometimes I’m held in warm, tender hands… or by a grandmother—

Who carries me in her big, perfumed, awful smelling purse.

I’m not sure which one of us smells worse.

This thing with women and strong perfume must quit;

My head pounds so badly at times, I just have a fit!

Sometimes I end up going to the malls and all the beauty parlor stops.

Some men and women will use me to pay when they shop.

Handing me over to a cold-hearted cashier at the checkout,

Shoving me into a drawer where we’re all imprisoned– that’s when I shout…

“Shut up already; we bills are inside the same crazy boat!”

“We’re all dirty bills, now quiet, so they don’t cut our throats.”

It’s bad enough we get sat on, mangled and used:

Torn in half, stained, taped back together and royally abused.

We sometimes get crinkled and wet,

Placed on the table for gambling and making a bet!

We also get stuffed into cigarette cellophane,

Lost in bad tornado weather and hurricanes.

Every day we pass through zillions of hands,

Traveling to too many far away, unforgiving lands.

Who knows what germs we pick up along the way?

Being abused and tossed around, every day.

I get crumpled and stuffed in pockets all the time.

It’s “fun” being tangled up with loose change — no thought in mind.

Children fight over me, all that yelling and screaming isn’t fun,

Being torn to shreds is also not fun on the run.

People have many ideas on how to clean and launder me,

They put me through a washing machine; spin cycle is worse you see.

I know we bills, get used more than anything in the world,

That is why our corners get dirty, torn, and curled.

And to top it off, if there’s no toilet paper in sight,

Some people use us to wipe their rears with delight!

Now I will leave you with one last thought…

If you steal any of, us bills, and get caught,

The fines are high and not worth the time;

Use us wisely; it’s not worth the crime.