“Doctor Bonzi Fartface: Professor of Medicine”
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You’ll need to forgive me if I don’t grin,
Tomorrow, I’m supposed to be inventing medicine.
Why am I complaining? I just need peaceful sleep.
Because of my neighbor next door, is a noisy creep.
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His television was blasting loudly, windows wide open.
He grunts and groans loudly, while he’s in the bathroom poopin’.
He has no common sense, to close window; so, neighbors can’t hear.
What is sleep, I got to get some sleep. Need a stronger beer.
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Gulp! Nope! Beer didn’t help, now; what do I hear?
Blazing radio again, while he’s weed whacking, oh dear.
How can I sleep with all this noise, need my sleep!
It’s not quiet, I don’t want to hear a peep!
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Forty-eight hours, strong coffee is weak,
Teaching class today looks very bleak.
Falling asleep while standing teaching class,
May fall to the ground flat on my face, not my ass.
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So, what do I do? With bloodshot eyes, my beard long,
Should I play the radio with my sleepy song?
Or should Professor Bonzi Fartface.
Be the sleepy disgrace?
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Just one day of sleep, that’s all I need.
Being professor, I’ll make some wake-up weed,
Or stay awake all day, wake up pill!
Oh, yes! I think I surely will!
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Have friends at the lab who will help me,
These eyes are so very tired they can’t see.
Hoping we can think fast and make the pill work.
Before this neighbor drives me insanely berserk!
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Finally, the pill a success, I’m wide eyed and bushy tailed!
Sure, hope it’s not a narcotic, so I can’t be jailed.
Need to look on the bright side of all this…
Playing it by ear — hit or miss.
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Getting home after three whole days of no sleep,
Neighbors finally quiet; I don’t hear a peep.
Bed looks great; my pillow is ready.
Now where’s my favorite teddy?
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I’m all toasty warm in my bed,
Pills wearing off, quiet songs in my head.
Bonzi Fartface will be good, as new.
Any noise from my neighbor now, I’ll sue!
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